


Untitled

by jperalta



Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Whump, Friendship, M/M, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28877772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jperalta/pseuds/jperalta
Summary: Cory tries to stop Shawn from jumping off the ledge.
Relationships: Shawn Hunter/Cory Matthews
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Untitled

"Shawn?"

Cory was frozen, in fear and otherwise, at the entrance to the roof. He could see his friend, his body small, coat beating in the wind. It was cold - well below freezing. Cory was wearing snow boots, a thick sweater, an even thicker winter coat on top. He looked to Shawn, saw him standing on the ledge in sneakers, jeans, a t-shirt. Cory's heart was screaming, jumping all within its cage, as the pieces of everything started coming together, and he knew what Shawn was thinking.

Shawn didn't respond when Cory said his name, could hardly hear it over the wind, over the sound of the traffic coming up from below, over the sound of his own mind threatening his life.

_"Shawn."_ Cory said again, louder and more commanding, as if within the name he was begging for Shawn to come down, to come back, to keep going.

The name reached Shawn then, but he couldn't look back to his friend. He couldn't bare to see the look of concern on Cory's face, the look of disappointment, or maybe a look that said he had known this was coming all along. "Cor..." Shawn let himself say. All of his emotions were swirling around in his stomach and a part of him wondered if it'd be enough to send him into the sky without taking a single step more. Cory's name didn't belong on his tongue. Cory didn't belong here. It felt wrong to make him a part of this, wrong to think of him when Shawn himself was so... evaporated. Turning into smoke or steam or simply nothing.

But Cory was a part of it. He was standing near the yellow glow of the entrance, cursing how easy it was to get up here in the first place. "Shawn, what are you doing?" He asked despite it being obvious. And it still hurt all the same.

Shawn took in a breath that turned into a horrible sob. He could hardly see the city anymore, his eyes clouding as he cried. He was torn between wanting this - this feeling of longing and horror on top of this building - and wanting to be protected, wrapped in a blanket near a fireplace, arms trapped underneath so he couldn't hurt himself anymore.

Cory started to move closer, slowly, afraid any quick movement would send Shawn over the edge. All Shawn could see was the air on the way down, the ground that would kill him upon impact. A chill ran through his whole body, again. And all Cory could see was the bleak exterior of the building and his friend, so high up, so close to ending it, so blind to everything else. Cory could hardly take in the oxygen he needed to keep from losing his own mind.

"Shawn, get down," Cory said authoritatively. Shawn twitched on the ledge and Cory rushed in faster. "Get down, come on, you don't want this!"

"You don't know that!" Shawn screamed into the night before wrapping his arms around himself. Then quieter and again, "you don't know that." The thought of his parents pushed its way into Shawn's mind. He could see the way his father would say "I'll be right back - don't worry" before disappearing for months on end. He could see the way his mother cried and touched Shawn tenderly, telling him she loved him the night before running away. Shawn cried even harder; he couldn't handle the loss.

Cory was finally close enough when he could reach out and take a hold of Shawn's ice-cold hand. The warmth shocked him, and he turned his head to look at Cory, bewildered. "I don't think you know it either," Cory whispered, grasping Shawn's hand tighter as Shawn started to shake more. "And that's okay. But for now, please..." Cory tugged on the hand, making Shawn turn a bit towards him, away from the open air. "Please, just come down." With another tug of the hand, Shawn mindlessly stepped off the ledge and practically into Cory's arms.

The two of them fell to the ground, Cory's back against the ledge now. Shawn looked shocked, like he wasn't entirely aware of what was happening. Cory took his jacket off and wrapped it around Shawn's body. Shawn was still crying, like this was just a natural state for him now. Cory kept saying Shawn's name, saying he loved him, but Shawn could only partly hear. He looked up, tears shining on the tops of his cheeks. He saw his friend, crying too but giving a soft and sympathetic smile.

***

When they arrived back at the Matthews, the fireplace was going but the house was oddly quiet. Alan and Amy were upstairs, pretending to read but really listening carefully for any sound to indicate that Cory and Shawn were back safe. Morgan was asleep. Eric was wide-awake, sitting in the middle of his bed with his legs crossed, trying hard not to rock back and forth. They all knew where Shawn had been. They all knew what Cory had gone out to do. They all thought it best to stay out of the way, if and when the boys came back.

Cory helped Shawn to the edge of the couch closest the fire. Shawn was still quite out of it, still looking confused and despondent. Cory was trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke, trying to keep from completely breaking down into tears, but it was hard. He just felt so incredibly nervous, so worried that the wrong movement or the wrong word would ruin everything.

Shawn slumped into the couch, and Cory threw a blanket over him as soon as he did. He brushed the hair off Shawn's forehead, trying to see if he had a fever as he did, but it didn't feel like it. Cory crouched down next to the couch, holding Shawn's hand. "Shawn?" Cory tried, and Shawn winced to let Cory now he could hear him. "What can I get for you? I... is there anything I can do?" Cory was glad that Shawn hadn't jumped, that he was still alive and currently safe, but he also knew that Shawn had a long way to go before he felt any better. "Shawnie..." His voice cracked and he looked down to the ground, about a second away from praying, which was something he never did.

Shawn took in a breath like it pained him, and Cory quickly looked back up. "Water," Shawn muttered.

Cory wiped the tears from his eyes. He'd hardly heard anything. "What?"

Shawn swallowed and took in another deep breath. Cory could practically see the oxygen fill his lungs. His voice got a bit louder, a bit clearer. "Water... please."

Cory stood up right away, trying to hide his own hyperventilating. "Water, okay, hold on."

He started walking towards the kitchen when Shawn spoke again. "Cory?"

Cory turned to look back and saw Shawn had settled into the blanket and pulled his legs up onto the couch. "Um..." He ran a hand through his hair. "Thank you."

Cory let out a cry, unable to hide it anymore. "Of course. Shawn..." Shawn looked down then back up, ashamed, but not needing to be. "I'll always be here for you." Shawn just nodded with a sad smile, and Cory walked into the kitchen to get him some water.


End file.
